The Rules of Life

Gerneral Rules

1. Always be polite and respectful to an armed man. Don't throw things at him.

2. Don't stand near anyone who doesn't understand rule number 1.

3. Pain hurts. Don't court it.

4. You can break the Laws of Man, but you can't break the Laws of Nature no matter how hard you try.

5. The Laws of Physics are the best lie detectors. You can lie to men, but not to the metal.

6. Mother Nature doesn't care that you don't know any better.

7. Stupidity should be fatal more often.

8. Numbers don't lie..... without help.

9. Regret is part of being alive -- but keep it a small part.

Medical Rules

1. Air goes in; air goes out. Blood goes round and round. All variations on this are BAD.

2. All bleeding stops, eventually.

3. You can fix most injuries with enough tape.

4. Feed a fever. Feed a cold.

5. Fluids. Lots of fluids.

6. If the choices are of the same order of magnitude, choose embarrassing over painful.

7. Wash your hands.

8. Be nice to nurses. ( See General Rule #1. )

Computer Rules

1. Back up. Back up. BACK UP!

2. A good reboot fixes many problems.

3. DARI (Delete and reinstall it) will fix most of the rest.

4. If all eles fails, RTFM, but only if all else fails.

5. Be nice to tech support people. ( See General Rule #1. )

Rules I Learned From My Cat

1. Life is hard. Don't forget to stop and nap in the flowers.

2. A smelly cat treat or a scrunch behind the ears will always make you feel better.

3. Don't be afraid to send your dinner back 5 or 10 times.

4. All string is evil and must be pounced upon.

5. Be nice to your cat. ( See General Rule #1. )

There are other rules, but you'll discover them when you break them.