The Top 10 Reasons I'm Eligible to Date or Marry


  1. I'm a straight, single man. Not married, not separated, not "really going to leave my wife as soon as X", not hiding my wedding ring in my pocket.
  2. I shower daily.
  3. I'm employed.
  4. I've been employed for many years.
  5. I love my mother, I don't live in her basement.
  6. I can kill spiders. Well most spiders. Not those ones from South America that are big as your face. Let's keep the expectations reasonable.
  7. I can do my own laundry. I even can work that flat metal hot thingie. What's it's called? Oh yeah, an iron.
  8. I understand the concept of putting the lid back down on the toilet.
  9. I have no warrants, restraining orders, or children.
  10. Type O- blood. Useful to have around in an emergency.


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